The Lord completely moved in my heart tonight, without doubt. He took in every inch of my heart, my motives, my intentions, my thoughts. He shook me up, and revealed to me things that I see as disgusting, but things He sees as work. My faults stood before me, and what else do I do but sit in the pitiful shame that the enemy puts in my head? What else do I do but weep at my imperfections? But I have a Father. I have a Father that loves me, despite those very flaws that disgust me. Who else would hold my delicate heart and forgive me and love me without end? Who else would I run to when my Spirit aches and yearns for bread and water? I am thirsty and I am hungry, yet I do not thirst and hunger for the bread and water of the world. I thirst and hunger for the body and blood of Christ to redeem me, to set me free from myself.
I have been redeemed! Oh, what a beautiful life sits in front of me; a life of joy. A life of utter peace in the Lord. Yet, within myself I still find flaws, and I still feel the condemnation on my shoulders. In this moment, I have to remember the symbol of the Cross and what it stands for. It is not just a man on a tree. It is life that was shattered, in hopes that I will gain life. In that, I must lay down my life in order to receive it. I must fight my flesh, in order to live a life in accordance to His son.
There is nothing I have been so sure of in my life; that I am so deeply loved by my Father. Today has been a day that I have seen the fruit of those who love Him. It has been another day that I have laid my imperfections at the Cross, only to find that I have been forgiven once again. It is a never ending fight with myself, but it is a fight worth fighting against. In the end, I have the most beautiful thing waiting for me; a life with the Lord.