Confessions / One

Those words... Those words that ring in my ears, in my eyes, in my head for hours on end. The words that recall the thoughts of disgust, of pain. "I dislike my body." I assume many girls struggle with this just as I do. We struggle with body image and a lack of self-confidence. At times I find myself staring at myself in the mirror, wondering how this could be anything close to beautiful? How could this be found as something delicate and precious? The real question is, how will I ever learn to love myself?

To some the words 'love myself' may sound selfish, juvenile, and ridiculous. It sounds egotistic, as if loving ourselves is a bad thing. But I desire to love myself. I desire to love my skin, my body, the parts that I hope no one dares to look at. I desire to love the image reflected back at me when I take a peek in the mirror before changing or taking a shower. I desire to wear shorts, tank tops, and bikinis without feeling the embarrassment of a stretch marks and flabby legs.

Although I've struggled with this, I'm learning to love my body; I'm learning to love it despite my flaws, insecurities, and areas my eyes dread to see. I'm learning that I go beyond my appearance. I go beyond my outer shell and my lack of love for my own skin. I've also learned how quiet us women are. We may put on our very best, in hopes we'll forget about the marks or areas of depression. We tell ourselves 'good compliments' only to be thinking of the next criticism of ourselves to emit from our mouths and into our hearts. We walk with our heads held high. Well, high enough to pretend we're ignoring the screaming thoughts of disgust in our head. Just high enough to pretend we can forget about what little we have of our self-confidence. Time after time of me begging on my knees to see myself in a different light, I begin to question, why do we limit ourselves? Why do we put beauty in terms of body? I've learned we must change the thoughts that tame our eyes. We must find security in how beautiful we really are; the freckles, the moles, scares, bones, or areas you see as ugly were all so delicately and preciously chosen for you. Every crevice, mark, protrusion, and indention was made so perfectly to be a part of you and me. We let empty words shape what we see as 'beauty.' "I must be skinny" are the words I hear, but I struggle to find the peace of loving myself. I fall into the traps of a destroying words telling me I must be flawless, in order to be beautiful. And I let those words get to me, just like they get to her, and you, and all of us.

I know those words have masked our minds. They have made an image of beauty that does not exist. Beauty is you, and me, and her, and all of us. Beauty is imperfection. Beauty is courage, compassion, love, honor, willpower, and brilliance. Beauty is not a size or a color. It does not come in the form of a body. There is an answer to loving ourselves. 

Quiet our thoughts and close our eyes.
I am beautiful.
She is beautiful.
You are beautiful.
We all are beautiful.

A Post For The World

Today I saw a letter posted on Yahoo! that could not have been any more correct. It was a letter going against the 'image' women in our time have set as 'glamorous.' An image where sex, money, and men is the only way a girl or woman will be successful. I could not agree more with the mere words in this letter, words of Truth.

Today girls have this idea that to be beautiful, successful, or 'accepted' they must devalue themselves and limit themselves to only being an instrument of satisfaction. Because of the influence of singers, actors, models, etc., girls believe all they are worth is their body and the way the present themselves. What happened to knowledge? To inner and natural beauty? A woman who values herself and presents herself as such is what young girls today should be striving for. They should not be brain-washed by today's culture in believing they are worthless, unless a man wants you or how far you can go. What's even more sad is that people are okay with this culture. They are okay that young teenage girls are watching, doing, and repeating what women with 'power' and 'fame' and 'glamour' do. If Beyonce walks across the stage in a sheer body suit with her breasts showing, and then sings about money and men, what do you think that young teenage girl will want to be like? These girls try to follow along with a lifestyle far from beautiful, only to find themselves used and abused by men who take advantage of them. Yet we still can't get it in our heads that our culture is brain-washed by looks, money, and sex. 

And don't tell me this is a sexist post: that women should be able to strut their stuff, almost naked, and rant about how glamorous sex and money is. When that interferes with young girl's minds, it's not okay. When women figures begin to skew a young girl's image of herself, it is not acceptable anymore. Women have belittled their own power, their own beauty, their own brilliance. They have accepted that they are not beautiful, until they can please a man, or they are not successful until they have money. This culture has made an image of women, and young girls continue falling into this trap of a 'glamorous' lifestyle. Everyday women are sold as sex slaves, whether it be through prostitution, strip clubs, or by men who abuse these women. Everyday young girls are forced to put on 'sexy clothes,' 'show off their beauty,' 'and give themselves to any man that looks at her.' It is not a choice. That is the lifestyle women are creating that is seen as successful. That is the very image women today put on themselves. Thirteen year old girls, girls who have not even identified themselves yet, are being sold as sex slaves, abused, forgotten, all while being misled into a lifestyle that women say is pleasing, good, and successful.

What do we say for ourselves? This culture makes up excuses saying, "A woman can do whatever she wants." But do women remember who's watching them? Do women who choose a lifestyle like that remember the girls who look up to them? The ten, fourteen, and sixteen year old girl who thinks she'll only have a good life if she pleases a man and degrades her body, not knowing the emptiness and pain it beholds?

Women, you are role models. You are living, walking, role models. Your actions are watched by girls who want to be like you, look like you, talk, and walk like you. The way you dress and the way you see yourself is also how young girls and our culture will see you, and that is how they will want to be. What is glamorous? A life of empty sex and men belittling you for nothing but a tool for their own pleasure? Or a life that is of dignity, power, and value? We need to stand up for women! We need to show that we are more than what society has made of us. We are more than our body or our money. We are beautiful, smart, honorable, and valued. We should never let a man or a culture tell us that we are far from that.

We need to stand up, not only for ourselves, but for the young ladies who look up to us. They deserve role models who can be an image of dignity and beauty. We need to show young girls that it is okay to be smart, brilliant, to work hard, to go to school, to have morals, and value our bodies, our mind, and our spirit. We need to show them the potential they have. You may say it's not your responsibility, but if it's not our's then who's is it? Nothing influences us more than the people and culture around us. The only way that will change is by us women standing up for who we are and not allowing somebody to tell us what we aren't. And our potential is much greater than people set on us.

Women, you were created out of beauty, love, passion, brilliance, and honor. The one Himself designed you perfectly, in His image. He made you for power and greatness. You are to be the ones who change the world. You are to be respected, admired, and seen as beautiful. Do not cheat yourself out from who you were created to be.