Beautiful Brokenness

Wednesday, November 20

Lately, I've seen dozens upon dozens of articles around the internet titled with things such as, "The Ideal Woman," "10 Qualities of a Good Man," "The Future Wife List," and whatever else bloggers and writers to continue to share with the public. With each new article I see, I continue to get more and more frustrated with the shallow and superficial labels of a 'perfect' whatever; a perfect husband, a perfect wife, girlfriend, boyfriend. Don't get me wrong. I believe it is beneficial and great to have ambitions for a future spouse someday, especially as a Christian, (considering the last two articles I read were written by Christians). Yes, you should consider qualities of a future spouse. But then again, as a believer, God should be the one to guide your into a relationship, despite differences or unmet standards. I've met plenty of married couples, strong in their faith, who came from completely different religions, or places, or whatever else the other considered 'non-negotiable.'

I just question why people continue to devalue the beauty of marriage and relationships by writing so many lists of this "ideal" man or woman. I'm becoming weary of bloggers typing out their lists about this 'perfect spouse.' All that becomes of it is a shallow image of marriage, of love, of relationships, and of the beauty of our brokenness. Love someone for their flaws and imperfections. Love someone, even if they are broken and do not fit this perfect image that has been embedded into the mind of the twenty first century marriage ideology. Especially, as Christians, we should be encouraging one to imitate Christ's love for the church; the way He chose us to be His own, even though we are broken, we are not holy, we are no where near the perfection of Him, and we do not even always love Him back. If I recall, Jesus didn't create a check-list to pick those he loved. He loved those for their beautiful brokenness. The consistent shallow view of perfection I continue to see across the hearts of believers, or should I say flesh of believers, is not the reality you will find in people. And by no means, will it guarantee a perfect love, a perfect marriage, or a perfect spouse. Why are we looking for love by a check-list anyways? Have people begun to define their love for a spouse with a check-list, just like how they define their love for God by a to-do list? Pardon me if I'm being a little harsh, but you could find this ideal human, marry them, and realize their is still undiscovered brokenness.

In a different light, these 'seemingly perfect' qualities are creating people to be slaves to their image. Men and women are digesting these words, in hopes to find that wife or husband they've been praying for. These lists are creating people to strive for a perfection that is unrealistic and untimely. It is painful and utterly saddening to watch people struggle by poking and prodding at themselves, not only their physical image, but also at their mental, social, and spiritual 'image' in order to fit some guy/girl's idea of perfection.

If there's any 'advice' I can give you about who, what, and how to love, it's this.

We are all broken people. Now stop telling people who they should and shouldn't love. 


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