Grasping for Gratefulness

It's those little moments that go unnoticed. It's the small acts that fade without thanks. It's the little kisses and long embraces, it's the sweet words and small favors that are forgotten, the smiles he delivers like beauty painted on his lips. Too often do I forget my thanks for the blessings of love and the relationship I have. Too often do I let the smallest sweetness surpass me. I'm learning how to be thankful for every aspect of my relationship with Tony. Spending each day with him, I have forgotten to show him my gratefulness, even if it's only for the breakfast he made me or the flowers he surprised me with at my doorstep. How easily we take love for granted. How careless we begin to become.

We taint our thankfulness with the complacent adaptation of kindness and love. Beyond myself, I am thankful for a man who loves me despite my complacency. Despite my forgetfulness and moments where my "I love you" sounded more routine than intimate, he loves me and he forgives me. Even though his character far outweighs mine own, it is no excuse for the forgotten words of love and the smallest whisper of "thank you." If he were gone tomorrow, I would be the only one to blame for the faded moments.

If there's anything I have tagged onto my life, to never forget, it is to rejoice in every moment. No kiss or hug or moment of sweetness is too insignificant or too small to be celebrated or to be remembered. Any goodbye, any hello, any sweet kiss, and any precious moment can be the last; they can be seized by the dawn and forgotten if not recognized.

I am sorry that sometimes I have let you and your joy become a constancy, rather than a beautiful blessing. I promise my "I love you's" will be filled with more than the feelings of a repeated phrase, but rather spoken in the words of an eternal love, which cannot be divided by our brokenness and only strengthened by the Father. I promise I am learning how to grasp for gratefulness.

Patience

Not too long ago Tony and I did a couple session with my lady friend Ashley. We got all of our pictures, and I just about died over them. We got these pictures done for our one year anniversary, which was almost two months ago (it goes by so fast!) Although we have a million photos together, I've always been the one to set it up on a tri-pod or ask my mom to take one or two. Finally we got some done, and I am so happy with the outcome. (Can I just say Tony looks like a straight up model? Goodness!)

This isn't just another post to talk about how much I love Tony, and how thankful I am, but really to encourage anyone and everyone in a relationship. If there's one thing I could say has been the most challenging yet rewarding thing Tony and I are growing in is patience. Physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional patience has been ever-so challenging. With each new season of our relationship the Lord brings a new level of patience into our relationship for us to grow and act upon. Although there are some days when I am sick of being patient, I am reminded of the reward; I am reminded of the bigger picture that is hidden in the Lord's will. If you are in a relationship, be patient. With whatever it may be, be patient with him or her, be patient with yourself, be patient with marriage, and physical boundaries, and commitments, and trials, and joy, and love. Be patient with all of it.The reward of patience is far greater, and better, and joyful than the temporary satisfaction of the absence of patience.

Growing with someone else has never been so wonderful.

One Year

Today marks one year that I've been in a growing, fruitful relationship with Tony. It has been wonderful and too beautiful for even the most intricate words. I am just amazed by the way Christ can use our love to teach us, lead us, and daily sanctify us. Tony has been a light to me from the beginning of our friendship, to the beginning of our relationship, till now. I have seen the ugliest sides of me and I have seen my strengths. We have accepted each others flaws, and together through Christ, we are learning what it means to love without condition.

It is hard. It is commitment. It has grown my Spirit to rely on Christ's strength, His love, His grace, His forgiveness, His humility, His sacrifice, and His patience in order to fully submit and love Tony, just as Christ loves him. "Being in love" was the easy part, now it's the daily love that pushes me further and further than yesterday. It is the daily commitment to accept one another and forgive one another; to push past our selfish desires and serve each other with righteous humility. This year has given me a foundation of relationships, of love, and a tiny, yet beautiful, perception of what marriage will be like someday.

Here's to a year of growth + love that can only be multiplied from here.

I love you, Tony Torres.

Ten Months of Blessings

I can't believe it's already been ten months, since Tony and I began a relationship seeking the Lord. It has been a fruitful ten months filled with love, adventures, growth, and patience. I can't say it enough how wonderful Tony is to me. God has truly given me a godly man who wants to seek Christ and who constantly pursues me. Despite my brokenness, he has shown me so much love. He is a representation of my King, and God has used him to reveal my sin, to face my fears, and to grow in my spiritual journey. There's no one I else I could see myself with following the path to our Kingdom. Tony is my leader, my teacher, and my best friend. Love posts may be silly, but my words will never ring more true of who he is. With ten months behind us, coming up on a year together, I am slowly but surely learning how to be a godly women, not only for him, but for Christ. 

This past Saturday he surprised me with a wonderful date in Galveston. We went on a ferry to see some dolphins, had dinner at a nice restaurant on the seawall, walked the beach, and had some late night coffee. He is too good to me. 

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer." -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Little Moments: Cheese and Coffee

Yesterday was one of the first times this week Tony and I could actually just be alone. As I said not too long ago, this month has just been so hectic, so full of planning, doing, and going. We've just been constantly on the move, and we finally got to spend some alone time together.

It's so important to just be able to be alone with those you love, especially a boyfriend/girlfriend or a spouse. Although you may go to school or work or church together, or hang out with friends together, it's always good to spend one on one time with them where you can solely focus all your attention on them. Focusing your attention on each other is replenishing, joyful, and comforting. I found myself so full of smiles, and my stress from this past week was completely gone because of his time dedicated to me.

Tony and I were on a mission to find a coffee bar we passed by one time on a bike ride, but instead ended up finding the Downhouse Coffee Bar. It was a lovely little place. We had coffee, chai, and a really yummy cheese plate. We got to walk around the Heights for a bit and visit some of our favorite thrift stores. I love being able to just spend time with him doing stuff we both love. It was such a good day to take a break from all the busyness and spend some good time with the man I love.

If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse, really try to find a time this week where all of your attention can just be centered on them, and their's for you. It's healthy and necessary to spend solid alone time together. Plan a fun date and just love on each other!

A Moment In My Day

A moment I never get tired of:

Being in a relationship with this man creates moments every day of my life. I am so thankful to have someone to have intimate conversations with, to go on adventures with, to laugh with, and someone to simply love. He has created innumerable amounts of joy in my heart. His kisses and his smile are nothing short from sweet. The moments in my day when I get to be close to him are the moments I never want to stop experiencing.

Oh, How Sweet It Is

I get to love you through whatever comes, what a privilege.