A Thought On Relationships

Monday, February 3

I find it so discouraging and painful when I see people (girls) make statements like this. . .

"Find a man that will take care of you, not you take care of him."


"A man should treat you right, not the other way around. . ."

or even vice versa (males saying this about women because we do see both sides to the argument).

What? When did we ever establish that a woman should sit back and do absolutely nothing for her boyfriend or spouse? When and, for better question, who decided that a relationship revolves to please the woman? I have seen this as a constant issue in our culture; we are so careful to try and not break this "feminist" attitude to somehow make up for the pain that has been caused to women through media, through our misconception of sex, or how women are treated by men. But in reality, this way of thinking is so faulted and flawed. The man takes care of the women, treats her with respect, loves her, maybe even pampers her, yet she is to sit back and soak it all in?

Living in a culture that lacks symbiotic, healthy, and giving relationships is difficult for me. With Christ in mind, he designed the relationship between a man and a woman to work together; to be one and partners with one another. For God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." (Genesis 2:18) The Creator of the world created man and woman to be partners on his earth. Not for one to have complete authority over the other, and not for one to take no responsibility in the relationship.

If we look at the design of marriage God intended, he created man to be the head covering his wife, leading her in faith, teaching her, protecting her, loving her, and presenting a Christ like affection that is only imitated after Christ's own love for his church. In that same way, the woman is to encourage, to lift up, to love wholeheartedly, as the Church loves Christ. Why then have we conformed to this idea that a relationship is a give and receive relationship, rather than a give and give? If we aim our expectations of happiness to constantly receive without any of our own efforts, they will fail us. Emotions of passion may fade, but what will last is the beauty of a relationship that resemble Christ's love, ultimately being willing to lay down your own comfort and expectations and happiness if it means to support and love the other. It is not a one-sided effort. It never has been a one-sided effort. What would the church be like if it never loved Christ back, even at the expense of their own comfort and happiness? Ponder on that one for a bit. . .

Challenging? Yes.
Attainable? Yes.

If God's creation is perfect, then his design for marriage and relationships is also perfect. It is genuine, intimate, serving, and ultimately leads to a marriage that is the beauty of oneness, echad.


  1. I love this. This is something I have been thinking about lately - how the reality of relationships is much different from what we expect them to be. It's much less about receiving and expecting love, and much more about giving love despite your mood or the kind of day you're having. God's design for marriage and relationships is not easy, but it is perfect.

    1. It so is! I'm so glad people are in the same boat in belief as me. Love is so much different when we see it in this perspective!

  2. Amen, sister! My relationship my boyfriend is always teaching me about giving.


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